It has just been a month that I have renowned the material pleasures of life, well, almost! I used to live in one of the metropolitan cities of India-New Delhi. Don’t get me wrong, I loved New Delhi… I still do. However, I was not happy. Happiness was like a blue moon to me.It arrived only once in a while and when it did arrive, I would celebrate it leisurely. Happiness was a strange thing for me. Since I was a little girl, I have always known that my constant companion was melancholy. I felt comfort in my loneliness and with my melancholy. I was sad most of the times that the slightest glimpse of happiness could make me jump in joy,literally! I appreciate those fleeting moments.Sometimes those moments are just like those lofty clouds that float above the clear blue summer skies where there was no trace of grey clouds looming all over the immense expanse,above the horizon of the earth. I love those moments..and other times it feels like a warm bed ready to be slept in with brand new quilts waiting to comfort you like cotton candy on a drizzly monsoon night, with purple hue luminating the night skies with the crackling sound of firewood in the fireplace and thunderous roars which make that monsoon night even more exciting followed by a train from faraway lanes passing through the valley, from a distance…meandering the routes within the hill tracks…its whistle soft against the flirtatious rustle of the icy wind that blew… complimenting the chimney smoke that went up like a chainsmoker, up…up… so high in that stormy night. That is what happiness feels like to me… witnessing these sheer miracles from that warm cozy bedroom wooden window,in a quaint small hilly town… well… to be clear, people assumed my town quaint…it did look quaint from the outside but not to me… I was not happy every single day but when happiness did occur to me, when it did manage to catch me off guard, I usually found myself surprised, caught with wonder,absolute wonder and gratitude and all I could manage was a long sigh and a broad smile and peace within my soul.
Today is one of those peaceful mornings. My nightmares have not stopped though.They are recurring. I did not even want to wake up but I conjured up some courage and forced myself to wake up. I wanted to stay in bed and feel miserable for myself, dupe myself into convincing myself that I was the most unfortunate person alive but IT AIN’T TRUE!! NOPE!! I woke up. My yoga teacher was waiting for me.I cannot let her down either. I had to. A very good way to cope with depression is to compel oneself to do any productive activity and to manage a good routine. For example : WAKE UP EARLY!! “EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE!” That motto is 100% legit !
Before yoga today,I felt miserable and lazy and I thought that I was going to sleep as soon as my yoga was done but all that changed ! Right now as I write this, I am filled with renewed energy and fresh thoughts,good and positive thoughts! It is unbelievable but I better believe it! My laziness has gone and my body feels light, my head feels light and today, after a long time I realise that happiness doesn’t have to be a fleeting moment. It can sustain an entire day !! Woah !! Good thing I ain’t going to a shrink. Listen up guys, this DOES NOT mean I am an expert but I do feel good. I reckon that shrinks and yoga classes do cost about the same, more or less. However, from my experience what I am aware of now is that I did not want to take any “medicines” you know,those “anti-depressants”. To be entirely honest, I do not trust these medicines and neither do I want to get dependent on them. I do not know much but one thing I do know is that the trick is to control the mind and focus. And, yoga helps to focus, precisely. Another way to destress for me is to write and simultaneously listen to Norah Jones’ lovely songs… Her voice is soothing. One more thing I would like to point out is that I want to debunk a common myth here and that is the notion people have about alcohol and drowning misery. No, it does not work ! Alcohol only aggravates the pain and anger within us. Thus, alcohol is not a healthy option to drown one’s miseries. I do not want to preach here, although, I sincerely hope that my blog makes you believe in something real. I hope I am helping people like me see that there’s so much to life and that happiness is a possibility and not a probability !
Let us be brave together !